Dr. Carlisle Cullen (
ofthefamily) wrote2010-05-11 11:34 am
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Golden: 1819.
An old face. Calmer, older, and yet all the same unchanged.
At least he's not running for his life, now. And he knows where he is.
For Carlisle Cullen, this is always a good start.
At least he's not running for his life, now. And he knows where he is.
For Carlisle Cullen, this is always a good start.
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And that's really all there is.
But Carlisle doesn't move.
Edward asked him to be here.
(Carlisle will take what he can get.)
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Anything but the plaintive note in it.
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"What? 'I know'? You would prefer some other term?"
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"That's never how -- things won't end up that way for you."
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Slowly, "I don't want to fight with you about it."
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They both exist. He can't say yes, and he doesn't have it in him to say no.
Edward turned his head and looked up. He didn't take a breath, but his facial expression shifted. Calmer. Smoother lines. The skin at the edges of his eyes relaxes. Perhaps, everything perfectly shifts towards a picturesque vision of normal, except his eyes.
"Choose a different topic? Something else nice from the newest decade?"
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It takes Carlisle a while. He rearranges himself on the floor, even, sitting next to the chair as though everything were completely normal.
"I'm learning the harpsichord."
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"You did mention an interest once. How is that going?"
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"I think I prefer the lectures."
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"You should definitely choose near a school then."
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So he just kind of looks up, wondering if Edward will elaborate.
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"On you? Or me? Or it?"
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Edward snorted, a very quite press of almost no sound, as he turned his hand over, palm up. His pinky actually accidentally brushing Carlisle's hand as he was looking at his whole palm.
At least mostly accidentally.
"It was only my second year as....since you'd found me."
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Carlisle sounds incredulous, and may be harboring a little bit more resentment towards the Other One than he had previously now.
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Even though he was so proud. Exquisitely so.
Edward hadn't be able to accept that reaction then.
How proud Carlisle had been. How much it meant to him. Them.
"I was...persistent and driven toward it from the first inspiration. And perhaps too aware, that unless someone died in this near inundation experiment of personal control, you wouldn't say no."
But, then, he was slowly becoming more aware that Carlisle never would.
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"At least I didn't make you."
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It's...not honest. Everything inside him knows that.
How many things never made it to conversations?
How many times did nature or Carlisle's existence or Carlisle's choices define for him the direction of everything else that was? Like domino's falling in line, even when he rebelled against it.
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Replaying in Carlisle's mind, He needs me.
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"You're smarter than that." Is too calm, too cool, to be an insult.
It's almost devoid of anything expect the sound required to speak it. "Even now."
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Except for maybe, "I am glad to know you perceive me so highly?"
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He needs me.
It's not wholly charitable.
Not even when he might wish it.
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