Carlisle-Esme, Pittsburgh.

[ofthefamily]

Vampires don't sleep.

They do, however, sometimes find it relaxing to sit in a chair with a gramophone record playing in the background -- instrumental; an orchestra. Beyond that, there's no label on the record to dictate where or when the performance was recorded.

Carlisle's eyes are closed, his feet are propped up on a chair.

Comments

[ofthefamily]

"Because you think I don't like you."

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"I never said that."

She's thought it. But never said it.

[ofthefamily]

"At one point you wished to never speak to me again," Carlisle retorts. "I may be slow but I am not entirely knuckleheaded."

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Esme has the decency to look embarrassed.

"I don't understand you," she says after a moment. "You're not like..." my husband... "the other men I've known."

[ofthefamily]

"Is that such a bad thing?"

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"I suppose not."

She offers him a tentative smile.

"But it means that I'm not sure what my place is in your life."

[ofthefamily]

"And it would be unfair of me to say something along the lines of 'whatever place you wish to make for yourself', I imagine."

Carlisle's hand reaches towards his face, rubbing at one eye as though a speck of dust had ingratiated itself there. He stops so that the heel of his hand can support his chin, elbow against the armrest.

"There is nothing I wouldn't make sure you had if it was in my power to give you," he starts haltingly. He's never had to explain this aloud before. Edward always knew.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

It would be unfair since he has already made it clear that he doesn't want her to occupy the place she wishes to make for herself.

"But why, Carlisle?" Esme asks. "Why me? Why Edward? Why now?"

She realizes that they aren't easy questions and almost expects him to refuse to answer.

[ofthefamily]

The answers are far too simplistic when offered aloud.

"I was tired of being alone. And...I thought you deserved a second chance."

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Esme is surprised by the simple honesty. Though, "You did? Why?"

[ofthefamily]

Carlisle's expression turns pained, unknowing.

"It was just something I knew. The girl who hid up in trees to get away when everyone else in the world knew she'd have to come back down again -- "

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"I was naive," Esme says quietly. "I'm not that girl anymore."

She's been through too much pain and loss.

[ofthefamily]

"You were beautiful," Carlisle corrects, but the tone is harsh and disjointed. "Are. Just because I am -- we are -- just because the circumstances have shifted doesn't change any of that."

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"Looks aren't the only thing that changes," Esme says.

She closes her eyes, unable to look at him as she continues to speak, her voice barely more than a whisper. "I had a son."

[ofthefamily]

"And that's why -- "

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Esme nods. "He... he was born too soon. He had difficulty breathing."

[ofthefamily]

"Esme."

Because his time studying humans -- how they deal with illness, grief, loss -- he has to say this.

"You can't blame yourself for that. There are any number of medical reasons why the child was premature."

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"I ran away from my husband," Esme says, her voice thick with emotion. "It was... too much stress."

[ofthefamily]

Possibly. But it would have been worse if you had stayed.

That's not what Esme needs.





"Come here." Carlisle stands, gesturing for Esme to stand while he moves to the gramophone to put on another record. It's another instrumental. Harpsichord.

Carlisle sits down again, balancing what would look to be awkwardly on his hip so that Esme can sit next to him in the oversized chair.

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Esme moves to sit with Carlisle. At one time, being so close would have pleased her. But right now, she's too lost in her memories to fully appreciate it.

[ofthefamily]

Carlisle forms around Esme when she sits, making himself as malleable as possible for however she needs him. His left arm maneuvers behind Esme's neck to bend at the elbow and lay one hand on her tidal-wave hair.

What are you doing?

"You will be alright, Esme."

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

Esme buries her face against his chest, turning her body sideways and curling in so she is practically in his lap.

If she could cry, she would be crying right now.

[ofthefamily]

There was one time in Carlisle's medical studies that he became a midwife's assistant. Silent the entire time, his strength helped in difficult pregnancies.

"Always let them hear your heart beating," the midwife would advise. "It's a comfort to them, bein' near something so living."

"Shhhh," Carlisle says aloud to no one in particular. "You're alright here."

[mamavamp.livejournal.com]

"If I hadn't left... hadn't tried to make it on my own..." she says, unable to get out a fully formed sentence.

[ofthefamily]

"You know what would have happened if you had tried to stay with him," Carlisle starts, keeping the man's name off of his mind and lips. "You had to.

"You can't go backward. Try to make your life here. Please."