Dr. Carlisle Cullen (
ofthefamily) wrote2009-09-02 07:57 am
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[Rebellion] Carlisle-Esme. Edward is still away.
Carlisle went back to work when Esme told him to do so, and the day after that, and the months after that. It helped to have a rhythm back in his life.
There was just no melody to it, so the feeling of incompleteness remained and never faltered.
"How's Esme?" one of his coworkers asked. Carlisle had forgotten the man's name as he was relatively new to the hospital. It occurs to him that it's possible he never bothered to learn it.
"She's well." Noncommittal and not sounding particularly open to conversation.
The doctor doesn't take the hint. "Are you going to the play opening tonight? A handful of tickets are still available from the head of the department since his daughter is in it." Carlisle can't miss the mumbled, "...and you should probably get out more" which follows the suggestion.
A few hours later, Carlisle is walking through the front door to their house.
There was just no melody to it, so the feeling of incompleteness remained and never faltered.
"How's Esme?" one of his coworkers asked. Carlisle had forgotten the man's name as he was relatively new to the hospital. It occurs to him that it's possible he never bothered to learn it.
"She's well." Noncommittal and not sounding particularly open to conversation.
The doctor doesn't take the hint. "Are you going to the play opening tonight? A handful of tickets are still available from the head of the department since his daughter is in it." Carlisle can't miss the mumbled, "...and you should probably get out more" which follows the suggestion.
A few hours later, Carlisle is walking through the front door to their house.
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Carlisle looks down at himself, brushing imaginary dust off his clothing.
"I should change too, I suppose."
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Carlisle runs his hands through his hair carefully, the tiny amount of pomade enough for the fine blond strands he tries to maintain in a current style to not stand out. Staring in the mirror in their room as he does so, Carlisle sees Esme step out behind him. "Are you ready?"
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She also has a really lovely new dress.
At least new in terms of having not been worn before.
"I think you'll have to be the judge of that." She steps out from the closet, still slipping on clippable gold earrings that match the dress.
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Carlisle helps Esme into a long-ish opera coat and steps out of the front door of the house arm in arm with his wife.
About ten minutes into the drive: "I'm sorry that I didn't d--"
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"You are now. That's what matters."
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"Dr. Cullen!"
His coworker waved animatedly from the other side of the box office, saying hello to both himself and Esme as he approached. Esme remembered his name as Johnathan. Johnathan, Johnathan, Johnathan...
Carlisle stays and chats with Johnathan and his date just long enough to not appear abrupt before leading Esme to coat check.
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Her husband, and their life together, will never not be worth it.
"Thank you." It's a simple gratitude when she hands her coat over. She brushed her hands down her upper arms, to rid herself of the littlest black fluff from the coat no human could see.
"He seems well." She said with a nod back to where they'd come from.
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"Which one?" Casual curiosity as she watched her husband.
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Which means Carlisle doesn't pay attention much.
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Tartuffe is at times hard and sarcastic, other times comical and prodding at the audience to understand the motivations of its main character.
Carlisle misses the alexandrins, but focuses on the play entirely through the first half. By intermission he is still silent, but his hand has traveled to meet Esme's and stayed there.
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The audience is getting up and milling around, but Carlisle and Esme stay seated.
"I'm going to try harder. I know you didn't want me to apologize earlier and I'll stop thinking that if you want me to, but you have to know. I am going to try harder."
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She can admit she has missed facets of him, greatly. She grieved still an absence, but Carlisle's regression into himself was an entirely different flavor of grief that couldn't be missed.
"It's not that I don't want you to, say it or think it. You can, if it helps you." She was half turned in her seat, holding his hand in both of hers. "I don't blame you for it."
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"You haven't been a bad one either." Absent in residence, but not bad. Nor is it bitterly thought as she tilted her head. "I did not promise to stand by your side only if our times stayed golden, Carlisle."
She almost stops, but then, she added, quieter. Not because it matter less, but perhaps because it matters much more. "But I am glad for tonight. For dressing up and getting out of the house and your saying that you will try."
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Attempt at a smile. "You are far too good for me."
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That hasn't changed. It will never change.
She tipped her head upward, looking at him, "I think, if you are up for it, I may have a suggestion about trying."
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Not the point, Carlisle.
"It's been nice."
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"Perhaps we should make it a weekly event?"
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Date night with Esme.
It doesn't sound so bad.
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Time for the second half.