Compiling reports.

Carlisle is in his office, headphones plugged into a small voice recorder so he can silently listen to his verbal notes from the autopsy he had just performed.

Unfortunately, that means that the details of the autopsy are on his mind.

The Autopsy Report.

Bar Date: July 13
Preparer: Carlisle Cullen
ORIGINAL DOCUMENT

It occurs to me that the majority of people who would need to read this report are not medically trained, so instead of what passes for a traditional autopsy report in my world I wanted to provide a summary of my findings here.

West Rosen, male, aged late-teens, has essentially been so mutilated that it is impossible to determine the order of the injuries sustained, or what actually caused the death in the first place. A list of them however is provided below.

1. A serrated knife blade was used to dislodge the brain inside the skull. Post-mortem.
2. Exsanguination from a wound to the neck. Peri/post-mortem. See me for details if necessary.
3. Removal and relocation of nearly all vital organs. Both kidneys and liver missing. I hope to God post-mortem.
4. Small-animal bites from shoulderblades to hips. Post-mortem.
5. Eyeballs missing, along with optic nerve. Likely post-mortem.
6. Flaying of remaining flesh from body. Post-mortem; suspect forest predators. Demon rabbits?
7. The body was crushed by a great weight. I would say more than at least a ton. Far more than is necessary to crush a human body, at least.

I do apologize for the delay in this report; I had taken blood samples to test for any drugs in his system that could be identified. I did not find any. My conclusion as to primary cause of death is either that Mr. Rosen was the unluckiest human to have ever lived, or that he was the most hated man in the universe. I apologize that I could not have been of more assistance.

I have absolutely no possible hypothesis or explanation as to the origin of the cupcake.

Dr. Carlisle Cullen, MD